I read a post the other day on Glorifying Self. This got me to thinking does my blog and my life glorify me, or God? It also seems to be a resonating theme in my devotions lately talking about the flesh me versus the spirit led me.
The flesh me wants to spring up and defend myself, it wants to fight and be ugly at times when I feel wronged. It is my more natural go to when life gets tough. However my spirit knows this is wrong and beats me up shows me my wrongs, for every time I let my flesh have control.
I want to be clear in that I am not blogging for my own glory. I know I am nothing without God. At the same time God has brought me so far that I want to share that with others. I do realize that lately it may sound like I brag more on my growth steps instead of sharing my failings. I don’t intend for that to be the case, but I write about life as it happens and I have seen lots of growth recently.
So perhaps today you will let me share more of my shortcomings with you. One of my biggest failures is that I start things that I do not finish. I have great ideas, but I lack follow through. I struggle to keep my emotions in check, feeling like anything other than positive emotions is bad. While I know that is not true, it is still a struggle for me.
My room is a disaster area. It went from
looking like this during my worst depression to getting down to this
And I still haven’t finished cleaning it up.
Another major fault, I am to quick to judge others, especially those in my family. There has been so many issues that I have dealt with growing up that I have a hard time extending grace to my Mom, even when I know that we are both at different places in our growth processes. When she starts to point out what she considers my faults, I am quick to jump in with the fact that she also has faults, instead of just shaking it off and giving it to the Lord.
I am unemployed, and have a hard time getting and maintaining a job. So you see I don’t have it all together, and I will try to show more of this in the coming weeks as I share more of my struggles with you, and how God has brought me from the brink of suicide to enjoying life.
Deanna — So far, all the things I’ve read in your blog do not make me think you are bragging or boasting. You are sharing your honest self with us in a sincere manner. People out there who are experiencing the same or somewhat similar circumstances as you NEED to see that there IS hope, that there IS a Light at the end of the tunnel and that Light has a Name: Jesus. They NEED to know there is a way out of the deep pit of depression, anxiety, addiction, unforgiveness, bitterness or whatever it is that has thrown them down there. I applaud and am inspired by your sincerity, your transparency, your humility. I can SO relate to what you’re going through, what you’ve written about in this post especially. I feel we are truly sisters!
You really are a blessing, Deanna. Keep moving forward, keep writing of your experiences…both your victories and your failures; your joys and your sorrows; those lessons which come easy and those with which you struggle. So many of us need to know we are not alone on our journey!
Thank you so much!
Grace & peace,
Pam
Thank You Pam. I am glad to know that you can see Jesus on my blog. I try to be transparent, and show that there is hope, because many times I have felt hopeless.
I just fear that some might get the wrong impression because I have talked about growth lately, and not so many faults. But through my growth I am trying to show others how God has helped me. While words come easy to me, sometimes I don’t always portray things as well as I would hope.