In every life there are seasons, some are harder than others. In some seasons you can see dreams and you can see progress and somehow that is where life now finds me. As always though when it comes to seeing progress and seeing dreams, that does not mean that things will be easy. There is always a cost, sometimes a small one, sometimes a bigger one. Currently the cost is leaving my comfort zone to reach into the unknown. Those of you who know me know that I love routine, and I am not a huge fan of change.
I find that sometimes my obedience is delayed because of this. Sometimes the risk of failure appears so big, fears and insecurities speak so loudly, that I resist. I find excuses, I delay, but eventually I always end up at that point of surrender. The struggles are real, and I fight with it a long time. The insecurities can eat a person alive if you are not careful. But there is something that is bigger, something that outweighs all the problems. That something is knowing that if this is Gods plan then the battle has been won.
This past weekend I was able to attend the Beth Moore Simulcast at our church. It amazed me how much she spoke to my current circumstances. It served as a great reminder to me of what really defines me, and what does not. I want to share with you a declaration that she shared with us, but since I do not have permission to share her image you will need to visit her Identity Declaration.
God has changed my heart lately and after fighting it for almost a year, I have agreed to lead a small bible study group for women. A friend from church was willing to host it for me. For some of you this may seem like nothing, but for someone who has struggled in the past with social anxiety disorder and is an introvert, it’s kind of huge. The group is only 6-7 people. But that makes it perfect sized for me. Not only has God handpicked these women, but He has been in every detail. I came away from the first meeting amazed and greatly blessed.
I see how God can use this for the bigger vision that He has said I can do. But more I see Him creating in me a heart for community. I have never desired to spend time around others, yet I find myself making time to meet with people. I am learning that in this world with so many people hurting that community is one thing that many people have neglected. I know that I have never really made time for meeting with others, and have rarely been invited to do so. Now though it seems that God may use my loneliness, and this new desire for people to draw me into the community that He created us for.
It is a coming out of my comfort zones, but I have never been more blessed.