When I was struggling in my depression and suicidal thoughts, I believed that to commit suicide was condemning my soul to hell for eternity. I can’t say that I had a solid biblical foundation for this, or even if it was biblical.
I was blindly reaching out for help from those who I knew to have stronger faith, yet none of the answers satisfied me. Some people agreed with me, others said they didn’t feel that suicide necessarily meant going to hell. Other people were as noncommittal as possible. When dealing with someone who is talking about suicide or asking questions about it, it is of utmost importance to be as honest as possible. I believed then and I still believe now that it was my own beliefs about suicide condemning a person to hell that kept me from following the thoughts of my tormented mind at that point.
What I found is that people were uncomfortable talking with me about this. Probably for the same reason that I hesitate to write this post, I still don’t have an answer as to whether committing an act of suicide will condemn one to hell. That said, I am 100% convinced that suicide is a sin.
Then I would have said it was more survival, because in the midst of that kind of pain, that is how it seems. However Satan is tricky, and a great deceiver. Now that I am not in that place I can see it for what it is. I praise God daily that He got me through that period and that I do not struggle with those thoughts now.
You see as believers and followers of Christ we are called to live for Christ alone. This means that we are to submit our lives to Christ. If we are submitting to Him, then we would not try to end our lives prematurely. That attempt to take control and by taking control, decide to commit suicide that is a sin.
Does that sin end in eternal fire, I do not know and honestly we may never know. However I hope someone can learn from my mistakes and realize that grasping for control and thinking about those acts is indeed a sin. Hear me clearly though…I am not calling depression a sin. I am not calling the thought of suicide that pops in your head unbidden a sin. What I am saying is that ruminating on those thoughts of suicide is a sin. More so taking action on those thoughts is sin.
When you are in that place of awful thoughts coming unbidden and you feel that you can’t control them, cling to Jesus with all you have. When you cling to Jesus, He can help you through them. Reach out for help, there is no shame in getting professional help when you need it. I’ll be honest I spent days in a mental hospital at one point. At the time, even when I didn’t like it, I know it was a gift. A precious gift to free me from outside problems so that I could focus on getting better.
Know that it will not get better immediately without setbacks. But learn to celebrate the small victories, and accept imperfect progress. But never give up on yourself. God has a plan for your life, you just can’t see it right now.